|
In order, sisters, that you may the better
appreciate the accuracy of what I have been saying to
you and see that the farther a soul progresses the
closer becomes its companionship with this good
Jesus, it will be well for us to consider how, when
His Majesty so wills, we cannot do otherwise than
walk with Him all the times as is clear from the ways
and methods whereby His Majesty communicates Himself
to us, and reveals His love for us by means of such
wonderful appearances and visions.
Should the Lord grant you any of the favours which
I shall describe (I mean, if He grants me ability to
describe any of them), you must not be dismayed. Even
though it be not to us that He grants them, we must
give Him hearty praise that He should be pleased to
commune with a creature -- He Who is of such great
majesty and power.
It may happen that, while the soul is not in the
least expecting Him to be about to grant it this
favour, which it has never thought it can possibly
deserve, it is conscious that Jesus Christ Our Lord
is near to it, though it cannot see Him either with
the eyes of the body or with those of the soul. This
(I do not know why) is called an intellectual vision.
I saw a person to whom God had granted this
favour, together with other favours which I shall
describe later. At first that person was greatly
perturbed, for she could not understand what the
vision was, not having seen anything. She realized
with such certainty that it was Jesus Christ Our Lord
Who had revealed Himself to her in that way that she
could not doubt it -- I mean, could not doubt that
that vision was there. But as to its being from God
or no she had great misgivings, although the effects
which it produced were so remarkable that they
suggested it came from Him. She had never heard of an
intellectual vision, or realized that there was any
such thing, but she understood quite clearly that it
was this Lord Who often spoke to her in the way I
have described: until He granted her this favour to
which I am referring she never knew Who was speaking
to her, although she understood the words.
Being frightened about this vision (for it is not
like an imaginary vision, which is quickly gone, but
lasts for many days -- sometimes for more than a
year), she went off to her confessor in a state of
great perturbation.[48] "If you see nothing," he
asked her, "how do you know it is Our Lord?" Then he
told her to tell him what His face was like. She
replied that she did not know, that she had seen no
face, and that she could not tell him more than she
had done already: what she did know was that it was
He Who was speaking to her and that it was no fancy.
And, although people aroused grievous misgivings in
her about it, she felt again and again that she could
not doubt its genuineness, especially when He said to
her: "Be not afraid: it is I." These words had such
power that when she heard them she could not doubt,
and she was greatly strengthened and gladdened by
such good companionship. For she saw plainly that it
was a great help to her to be habitually thinking of
God wherever she went and to be taking such care to
do nothing which would displease Him because she felt
that He was always looking at her. Whenever she
wanted to draw near to His Majesty in prayer, and at
other times as well, she felt He was so near that He
could not fail to hear her, although she was unable
to hear Him speaking to her whenever she wished, but
did so at quite unexpected times, when it became
necessary.
She was conscious that He was walking at her right
hand, but this consciousness arose, not from those
senses which tell us that another person is near us,
but in another and a subtler way which is
indescribable. It is quite as unmistakable, however,
and produces a feeling of equal certainty, or even
greater. Other things of the kind might be
attributable to fancy, but this thing is not, for it
brings such great benefits and produces such effects
upon the interior life as could not occur if it were
the result of melancholy. The devil again, could not
do so much good: were it his work, the soul would not
have such peace and such constant desires to please
God and such scorn for everything that does not lead
it to Him. Later, this person attained a clear
realization that it was not the work of the devil and
came to understand it better and better.
None the less, I know she sometimes felt the gravest
misgivings, and at other times the greatest
confusion,[49] because she had no idea whence such a
great blessing had come to her. She and I were so
intimate that nothing happened in her soul of which I
was ignorant and thus I can be a good witness and you
may be sure that everything I say about it is true.
This favour of the Lord brings with it the greatest
confusion and humility. If it came from the devil, it
would be just the reverse.
As it is a thing which can be clearly recognized
as the gift of God and such feelings could not
possibly be produced by human effort, anyone who has
it must know it does not in reality come from him,
but is a gift from the hand of God. And although, as
I believe, some of the other experiences that have
been described are greater favours than this, yet
this brings a special knowledge of God, and from this
constant companionship is born a most tender love
toward His Majesty, and yearnings, even deeper than
those already described, to give oneself wholly up to
His service, and a great purity of conscience; for
the Presence Which the soul has at its side makes it
sensitive to everything.
For though we know quite well that God is present
in all that we do, our nature is such that it makes
us lose sight of the fact; but when this favour is
granted it can no longer do so, for the Lord, Who is
near at hand, awakens it. And even the favours
aforementioned occur much more commonly, as the soul
experiences a vivid and almost constant love for Him
Whom it sees or knows to be at its side.
In short, the greatness and the precious quality of
this favour are best seen in what the soul gains from
it. It thanks the Lord, Who bestows it on one that
has not deserved it, and would exchange it for no
earthly treasure or joy. When the Lord is pleased to
withdraw it, the soul is left in great loneliness;
yet all the possible efforts that it might make to
regain His companionship are of little avail, for the
Lord gives this when He wills and it cannot be
acquired. Sometimes, again, the companionship is that
of a saint and this is also a great help to us.
You will ask how, if this Presence cannot be seen,
the soul knows that it is that of Christ, or when it
is a saint, or His most glorious Mother. This is a
question which the soul cannot answer, nor can it
understand how it knows what it does; it is perfectly
certain, however, that it is right. When it is the
Lord, and He speaks, it is natural that He should be
easily recognized; but even when it is a saint, and
no words are spoken, the soul is able to feel that
the Lord is sending him to be a help and a companion
to it; and this is more remarkable.
There are also other spiritual experiences which
cannot be described, but they all help to show us how
impotent our nature is, when it comes to
understanding the great wonders of God, for we are
not capable of understanding these but can only
marvel and praise His Majesty for giving them to us.
So let us give Him special thanks for them; for, as
this is not a favour which is granted to all, it is
one which should be highly esteemed and we must try
to render the greatest services to God Who has so
many ways of helping us.
For this reason no one thus favoured has any
better opinion of himself on that account. On the
contrary, he feels that he is serving God less than
anyone else on the earth, and yet that no one else
has so great an obligation to serve Him. Any fault
which he commits, therefore, pierces his very vitals
and has every reason to do so.
These above-described effects which such visions
cause in the soul may be observed by any one of you
whom the Lord leads by this way, and you will then
see that they are due neither to deception nor to
fancy. For, as I have said, if they are of the devil,
I do not think they can possibly last so long or do
the soul such a great deal of good, or bring it such
inward peace. It is not usual for one who is so evil
to do so much good; he could not, in fact, even if he
would. The soul would soon become clouded over by the
mist of self-esteem and would begin to think itself
better than others. But its continual occupation with
God and its fixing of the thought on Him would make
the devil so furious that, though he might attempt
such a thing once, he would not do so often. God is
so faithful that He will not allow the devil to have
all this power over a soul whose one aim is to please
Him and to devote its whole life to His honour and
glory; He will see to it that the devil is speedily
disillusioned.
My point is, and will continue to be, that, if the
soul walks in the manner described above, and these
favours of God are withdrawn from it, His Majesty
will see that it is the gainer, and if He sometimes
allows the devil to attack it, his efforts will be
brought to confusion. Therefore, daughters, if any of
you travel along this road, as I have said, do not be
alarmed. It is well for us to have misgivings and
walk the more warily; and you must not presume upon
having received these favours and become careless,
for if you do not find them producing in you the
result already described it will be a sign that they
are not of God. It will be well at first for you to
communicate this, in confession, to some very learned
man (for it is from such men that we must seek
illumination) or to any highly spiritual person if
you know one. Should your confessor not be a very
spiritual man, someone with learning is better; or,
if you know such a person, it is best to consult one
both spiritual and learned. If he tells you that it
is fancy, do not let that trouble you, for fancy can
have little effect on your soul, either for good or
for evil: commend yourself to the Divine Majesty and
pray Him not to allow you to be deceived. If he tells
you that it is the devil, this will be a greater
trial to you, though no learned man would say such a
thing if you have experienced the effects described;
but, if he says it, I know that the Lord Himself, Who
is walking at your side, will console you and
reassure you, and will continue to give him light, so
that he in his turn may give it to you.
If your director, though a man of prayer, has not
been led in this way by the Lord, he will at once
become alarmed and condemn it; that is why I advise
you to go to a man who has both spirituality and
great learning if such a one can be found. Your
prioress should give you leave to do this; for
although, seeing you are leading a good life, she may
think your soul is safe, she will be bound to allow
you to consult someone for your own safety and for
hers as well.
When you have finished these consultations, calm
yourself and do not go on talking about the matter,
for sometimes, when there is no reason for fear, the
devil implants such excessive misgivings that they
prevent the soul from being content with a single
consultation, especially if the confessor has had
little experience and treats the matter timorously
and enjoins you to go and consult others.
In such a case what should by rights be a close
secret gets noised abroad and the penitent is
persecuted and tormented; for she finds that what she
thought was secret has become public, and this leads
to many sore trials, which, as things are at present,
might affect the Order. Great caution, then, is
necessary here and such caution I strongly recommend
to prioresses.
And let none of you imagine that, because a sister
has had such experiences, she is any better than the
rest; the Lord leads each of us as He sees we have
need. Such experiences, if we use them aright,
prepare us to be better servants of God; but
sometimes it is the weakest whom God leads by this
road; and so there is no ground here either for
approval or for condemnation.
We must base our judgments on the virtues. The
saintliest will be she who serves Our Lord with the
greatest mortification and humility and purity of
conscience. Little, however, can be known with any
certainty about this on earth, nor until the true
Judge gives each his deserts. Then we shall be amazed
to see how different His judgment is from the ideas
which we have formed on earth. May He be for ever
praised. Amen.
|