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Let me illustrate what I have said by an anecdote of Saint
Bernard.
It is common to most beginners in God's Service, being as yet
inexperienced in the fluctuations of grace and in spiritual
vicissitudes, that when they lose the glow of sensible devotion,
and the first fascinating lights which led them in their first
steps towards God, they lose heart, and fall into depression and
discouragement.
Those who are practised in the matter say that it is because
our human nature cannot bear a prolonged deprivation of some kind
of satisfaction, either celestial or earthly; and so as souls,
which have been raised beyond their natural level by a taste of
superior joys, readily renounce visible delights when the higher
joys are taken away, as well as those more earthly pleasures,
they, not being yet trained to a patient waiting for the true
sunshine, fancy that there is no light either in heaven or earth,
but that they are plunged in perpetual darkness. They are just
like newly-weaned babes, who fret and languish for want of the
breast, and are a weariness to every one, especially to
themselves.
Just so it fell out with a certain Geoffroy de Peronne, a
member of S. Bernard's community, newly dedicated to God's
Service, during a journey which he and some others were making. He
became suddenly dry, deprived of all consolations, and amid his
interior darkness he began to think of the friends and relations
he had parted from, and of his worldly pursuits and interests,
until the temptation grew so urgent that his outward aspect
betrayed it, and one of those most in his confidence perceiving
that he was sorely troubled, accosted him tenderly, asking him
secretly, "What means this, Geoffroy? and what makes thee,
contrary to thy wont, so pensive and sad?" Whereupon Geoffroy,
sighing heavily, made answer, "Woe is me, my brother, never again
in my life shall I be glad!"
The other was moved to pity by these words, and in his
fraternal love he hastened to tell it all to their common father
S. Bernard, and he, realising the danger, went into the nearest
church to pray for Geoffroy, who meanwhile cast himself down in
despair, and, resting his head on a stone, fell asleep.
After a while both rose up, the one full of grace won by
prayer, the other from his sleep, with so peaceful and gladsome a
countenance, that his friend, marvelling to see so great and
unexpected a change, could not refrain from gently reproaching him
for his recent words. Thereupon Geoffroy answered, "If just now I
told thee that I should never more be glad, so now I promise thee
I will never more be sad!"
Such was the result of this devout man's temptation; but from
this history I would have you observe:--
- That God is wont to give some foretaste of His heavenly joys
to beginners in His Service, the better to wean them from
earthly pleasures, and to encourage them in seeking His Divine
Love, even as a mother attracts her babe to suck by means of
honey.
- That nevertheless it is the same Good God Who sometimes in
His Wisdom deprives us of the milk and honey of His
consolations, in order that we may learn to eat the dry
substantial bread of a vigorous devotion, trained by means of
temptations and trials.
- That sometimes very grievous temptations arise out of
dryness and barrenness, and that at such times these temptations
must be stedfastly resisted, inasmuch as they are not of God;
but the dryness must be patiently endured, because He sends that
to prove us.
- That we must never grow discouraged amid our inward trials,
nor say, like Geoffroy, "I shall never be glad;" but through the
darkness we must look for light; and in like manner, in the
brightest spiritual sunshine, we must not presume to say, "I
shall never be sad." Rather we must remember the saying of the
Wise Man, "In the day of prosperity remember the evil." (1) It
behoves us to hope amid trials, and to fear in prosperity, and
in both circumstances always to be humble.
- That it is a sovereign remedy to open our grief to some
spiritual friend able to assist us.
And, in conclusion, I would observe that here, as everywhere,
our Gracious God and our great Enemy are in conflict, for by means
of these trials God would bring us to great purity of heart, to an
entire renunciation of self-interest in all concerning His
Service, and a perfect casting aside of self-seeking; but the Evil
One seeks to use our troubles to our discouragement, so as to turn
us back to sensual pleasures, and to make us a weariness to
ourselves and others, in order to injure true devotion.
But if you will give heed to the above instructions you will
advance greatly towards perfection amid such interior trials,
concerning which I have yet one word to say. Sometimes revulsions
and dryness and incapacity proceed from bodily indisposition, as
when excessive watching, fasting, or overwork produce weariness,
lassitude, heaviness, and the like; which, while wholly caused by
the body, interfere greatly with the soul, so intimately are they
linked together.
When this is the case, you must always remember to make marked
acts of virtue with your higher will, for, although your whole
soul may seem to be sunk in drowsy weariness, such mental efforts
are acceptable to God. At such a time you may say with the Bride
of the Canticles, "I sleep, but my heart waketh." (2) And, as I
have already said, if there is less enjoyment in such efforts,
there is more virtue and merit.
But the best remedy under the last-named circumstances is to
reinvigorate the body by some lawful recreation and solace.
S. Francis enjoined his religious to use such moderation in their
labours as never to impair the fervour of their minds. And
speaking of that great Saint, he was himself once attacked by such
deep depression of mind that he could not conceal it; if he sought
to associate with his religious he was unable to talk; if he kept
apart he only grew worse; abstinence and maceration of the flesh
overwhelmed him, and he found no comfort in prayer. For two years
he continued in this state, as though altogether forsaken of God,
but after humbly enduring the heavy storm, his Saviour restored
him to a happy calm quite suddenly.
From this we should learn that God's greatest servants are
liable to such trials, so that less worthy people should not be
surprised if they experience the same.
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