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The considerations offered in the preceding chapters
should be more than sufficient to excite men to the
love and practice of virtue. However, sinners never
seem to be in want of excuses to defend their loose
lives. "A sinful man," says the Scripture, "will flee
reproof, and will find an excuse according to his
will." (Ecclus. 32:21). "He that hath a mind to
depart from a friend seeketh occasions." (Prov.
18:1). Thus the wicked, who flee reproach, who wish
to withdraw from God, are never without an excuse.
Some defer this important affair of salvation to an
indefinite future; others till the hour of death.
Many allege that it is too difficult and arduous an
undertaking. Many presume upon God's mercy,
persuading themselves that they can be saved by faith
and hope without charity. Others, in fine, who are
enslaved by the pleasures of the world, are unwilling
to sacrifice them for the happiness which God
promises. These are the snares most frequently
employed by Satan to allure men to sin, and to keep
them in its bondage until death surprises them. At
present we intend to answer those who defer their
conversion, alleging that they can turn to God more
efficaciously at another time. With this excuse was
St, Augustine kept back from a virtuous life. "Later,
Lord," he cried � "later I will abandon the world and
sin."
It will not be difficult to prove that this is a ruse
of the father of lies, whose office since the
beginning of the world has been to deceive man. We
know with certainty that there is nothing which a
Christian should desire more earnestly than
salvation. It is equally certain that to obtain it
the sinner must change his life, since there is no
other possible means of salvation. Therefore, all
that remains for us is to decide when this amendment
should begin. You say, at a future day I answer, at
this present moment. You urge that later it will be
easier. I insist that it will be easier now. Let us
see which of us is right. Before we speak of the
facility of conversion, tell me who has assured you
that you will live to the time you have appointed for
your amendment. Do you not know how many have been
deceived by this hope? St. Gregory tells us that "God
promises to receive the repentant sinner when he
returns to Him, but nowhere does He promise to give
him tomorrow." St. Caesarius thus expresses the same
thought: "Some say, 'In my old age I will have
recourse to penance'; but how can you promise
yourself an old age, when your frail life cannot
count with security upon one day?" I cannot but
think that the number of souls lost in this way is
infinite. It was the cause of the ruin of the rich
man in the Gospel, whose terrible history is related
by St. Luke: "The land of a certain rich man brought
forth plenty of fruits; and he thought within
himself, saying: What shall I do, because I have no
room where to bestow my fruits? And he said: This
will I do: I will pull down my barns, and will build
greater, and into them will I gather all things that
are grown to me, and my goods; and I will say to my
soul: Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many
years; take thy rest, eat, drink, make good cheer.
But God said to him: Thou fool, this night do they
require thy soul of thee; and whose shall those
things be which thou hast provided?" (Lk. 12:16-21).
What greater folly than thus to dispose of the
future, as if time were our own! God, says St.
John (Cf. Apoc. 1:18), holds the keys of life and
death. Yet a miserable worm of the earth dares usurp
this power. Such insolence merits the punishment
which the sinner usually receives. Rejecting the
opportunity God gives him for amendment, he is denied
the time he has presumptuously chosen for penance,
and thus miserably perishes in his sins. Since the
number who are thus chastised is very great, let us
profit by their misfortunes and heed the counsel of
the Wise Man: "Delay not to be converted to the Lord,
and defer it not from day to day. For his wrath shall
come on a sudden, and in the time of vengeance he
will destroy thee." (Ecclus. 5:8-9).
But, even granting that you will live as long as you
imagine, will it be easier to begin your conversion
now or some years hence? To make this point clear we
shall give a brief summary of the causes which render
a sincere conversion difficult. The first of these
causes is the tyranny of bad habits. So strong are
these that many would die rather than relinquish
them. Hence St. Jerome declares that a long habit of
sin robs virtue of all its sweetness. For habit
becomes second nature, and to overcome it we must
conquer nature itself, which is the greatest victory
a man can achieve. "When a vice is confirmed by
habit," says St. Bernard, "it cannot be extirpated
except by a very special and even miraculous grace."
Therefore, there is nothing which a Christian should
dread more than a habit of vice, because, like other
things in this world, vice claims prescription, and
once that is established it is almost impossible to
root it out. A second cause of this difficulty is the
absolute power which the devil has over a soul in
sin. He is then the strongly-armed man mentioned in
the Gospel, who does not easily relinquish what he
has acquired. Another cause of this difficulty is the
separation which sin makes between God and the soul.
Though represented in Scripture (Cf. Is. 60) as a
sentinel guarding the walls of Jerusalem, God
withdraws further and further from a sinful soul, in
proportion as her vices increase. We can learn the
deplorable condition into which this separation
plunges the soul from God Himself, who exclaims by
His prophet, "Woe to them, for they have departed
from me. Woe to them when I shall depart from them."
(Osee 7:13 and 9:12). This abandonment by God is the
second woe of which St. John speaks in the
Apocalypse. The last cause of this difficulty is
the corruption of sin, which weakens and impairs the
faculties of the soul, not in themselves, but in
their operations and effects. Sin darkens the
understanding, excites the sensual appetites, and,
though leaving it free, so weakens the will that it
is unable to govern us. Being the instruments of the
soul, what but trouble and disorder can be expected
from these faculties in their weak and helpless
state? How, then, can you think that your conversion
will be easier in the future, since every day
increases the obstacles you now dread, and weakens
the forces with which you must combat them? If you
cannot ford the present stream, how will you pass
through it when it will have swollen to an angry
torrent? Perhaps you are now a prey to a dozen vices,
which you tremble to attack. With what courage, but
especially with what success, will you attack them
when they will have increased a hundredfold in
numbers and power? If you are now baffled by a year
or two of sinful habits, how can you resist their
strength at the end of ten years? Do you not see that
this is a snare of the archenemy, who deceived our
first parents, and who is continually seeking to
deceive us also? Can you, then, doubt that you
only increase the difficulties of your conversion by
deferring it? Do you think that the more numerous
your crimes, the easier it will be to obtain a
pardon? Do you think that it will be easier to effect
a cure when the disease will have become chronic? "A
long sickness is troublesome to the physician, but a
short one" � that is, one which is taken in the
beginning � "is easily cut off." (Ecclus. 10:11-12).
Hear how an angel disabused a holy solitary of an
illusion like yours: Taking him by the hand, he led
him into a field and showed him a man gathering
fagots. Finding the bundle he had collected too
heavy, the woodcutter began to add to it; and
perceiving that he was still less able to lift it, he
continued to add to the quantity, imagining that he
would thus carry it more easily. The holy man
wondering at what he saw, the angel said to him: Such
is the folly of men, who, unable to remove the
present burden of their sins, continue to add to it
sin after sin, foolishly supposing that they will
more easily lift a heavier burden in the future.
But among all these obstacles, the greatest is the
tyranny of evil habits. Would that I could make you
understand the power with which they bind us! As each
blow of the hammer drives a nail further and further
into the wood, until it can hardly be withdrawn, so
every sinful action is a fresh blow which sinks vices
deeper and deeper into our souls until it is almost
impossible to uproot them. Thus it is not rare to see
the sinner in his old age a prey to vices which have
dishonored his youth, in which he is no longer
capable of finding pleasure, and which his years and
the weakness of nature would repel, were he not bound
to them by long-continued habit. Are we not told in
Scripture that "the bones of the sinner shall be
filled with the vices of his youth, and that they
shall sleep with him in the dust"? (Job 20:11). Thus
we see that even death does not terminate the habit
of vice; its terrible effects pass into eternity. It
becomes a second nature, and is so imprinted iri the
sinner's flesh that it consumes him like a fatal
poison for which there is scarcely any remedy.
This Our Saviour teaches us in the resurrection of
Lazarus. He had raised other dead persons by a single
word, but to restore Lazarus, who had been four days
in the tomb, He had recourse to tears and prayers, to
show us the miracle God effects when he raises to the
life of grace a soul buried in a habit of sin. For,
according to St. Augustine, the first of these four
days represents the pleasure of sin; the second, the
consent; the third, the act; and the fourth, the
habit of sin. Therefore, the sinner who has reached
this fourth day can only be restored to life by the
tears and prayers of Our Saviour. But let us
suppose that you will not be disappointed, that you
will live to do penance. Think of the inestimable
treasures you are now losing and how bitterly you
will regret them when too late. While your fellow
Christians are enriching themselves for Heaven, you
are idling away your time in the childish follies of
the world. Besides this, think of the evil you are
accumulating. We i should not, says St. Augustine,
commit one venial sin even to gain the whole world.
How, then, can you so carelessly heap up mortal sins,
when the salvation of a thousand worlds would not
justify one? How dare you offend with impunity Him at
whose feet you must kneel for mercy, in whose hands
lies your eternal destiny? Can you afford to defy Him
of whom you have such urgent need? "Tell me," says
St. Bernard, "you who live in sin, do you think God
will pardon you or not? If you think He will reject
you, is it not foolish to continue to sin when you
have no hope of pardon? And if you rely upon His
goodness to pardon you, notwithstanding your
innumerable offences, what can be more base than the
ingratitude with which you presume upon His mercy,
which, instead of exciting you to love Him, only
leads you to offend Him?" How can you answer this
argument of the saint? Consider also the tears
with which you will expiate your present sins. If God
visits you one day, if He causes you to hear His
voice (and alas for you if He does not!), be assured
that the remorse for your sins will be so bitter that
you will wish you had suffered a thousand deaths
rather than have offended so good a Master. David
indulged but a short time in sinful pleasures, yet
behold how bitter was his sorrow, how long he wept
for his sins. "I have labored in my goanings," he
cried; "every night I will wash my bed, I will water
my couch with my tears." (Ps. 6:7). Why, then, will
you sow what you can only reap in tears? Consider,
moreover, the obstacles to virtue which continual sin
establishes in us. Moses compelled the children of
Israel, in punishment of their idolatry, to drink the
ashes of the golden calf which they had adored. (Cf.
Ex. 32:20). God often inflicts a like punishment upon
sinners, permitting their very bones to become so
impregnated with the effects of sin that the idol
which they formerly worshipped becomes for them a
punishment and a constant source of torment. Let
me call your attention to the foolish choice you make
in selecting old age as a time for repentance, and
permitting your youth to go fruitlessly by. What
would you think of a man who, having several beasts
of burden, put all the weight upon the weakest,
letting the others go unloaded`! Greater is the folly
of those Christians who assign all the burden of
penance to old age, which can hardly support itself,
and who spend in idleness the vigorous years of
youth. Seneca has admirably said that he who waits
until old age to practice virtue clearly shows that
he desires to give to virtue only the time of which
he can make no other use. (De Brev. Vitae, cap.15).
And do not lose sight of the satisfaction God
requires for sin, which is so great that, in the
opinion of St. John Climachus, man can with
difficulty satisfy each day for the faults he commits
each day. Why, then, will you continue to accumulate
the debt of sin and defer its payment to old age,
which can so poorly satisfy for its own
transgressions? St. Gregory considers this the basest
treason, and says that he who defers the duty of
penance to old age falls far short of the allegiance
he owes to God, and has much reason to fear that he
will be a victim of God's justice rather than the
object of that mercy upon which he has so rashly
presumed. But apart from all these considerations,
if you have any sense of justice or honesty, will not
the benefits you have received and the rewards you
are promised induce you to be less sparing in the
service of so liberal a Master? How wise is the
counsel we read in Ecclesiasticus: "Let nothing
hinder thee from praying always, and be not afraid to
be justified even to death; for the reward of God
continueth for ever." (Ecclus. 18:22). Since the
reward is to continue as long as God remains in
Heaven, why should not your service continue as long
as you remain upon earth? If the duration of the
recompense is limitless, why will you limit the time
of your service? You hope, no doubt, to be saved; therefore, you must
believe yourself of the number of those whom God has
predestined. Will you, then, wait until the end of
your life to serve Him who has loved you and chosen
you heir to His kingdom from all eternity? Will you
be so ungenerous with Him whose generosity to you has
been boundless? The span of human life is so limited,
how can you dare rob this generous Benefactor of the
greatest part, leaving Him only the smallest and most
worthless portion? "Dregs alone," says Seneca,
"remain at the bottom of a vessel." "Cursed is the
deceitful man," says God, "that hath in his flock a
male, and making a vow offereth in sacrifice that
which is feeble to the Lord; for I am a great King,
saith the Lord of hosts, and my name is dreadful
among the Gentiles." (Mal.1:14). In other words,
none but great services are worthy of His greatness.
Imperfect offerings are an affront to His majesty.
Will you, then, give the best and most beautiful part
of your life to the service of the devil, and reserve
for God only that portion which the world refuses? He
has said that there shall not be in thy house a
greater measure and a less; that thou shalt have a
just and true weight. (Cf. Deut. 25:14-15). Yet, in
contradiction to this law, you have two unequal
measures � a great one for the devil, whom you treat
as your friend, and a small one for God, whom you
treat as your enemy. If all these benefits fail to
touch you, do not be insensible to the favor your
Heavenly Father has conferred upon you in giving His
Divine Son to redeem you. Were you possessed of an
infinite number of lives, you would owe them all in
payment � and they would be but a small return � for
that Life, more precious than that of angels and men,
which was offered for you. How, then, can you refuse
the service of your miserable life to Him who
sacrificed Himself for you? I shall conclude this
chapter with a passage from Ecclesiastes in which man
is exhorted to give himself to the service of his
Creator in his youth, and not to defer it till old
age, the infirmities of which are described under
curious and admirable figures: "Remember thy Creator
in the days of thy youth, before the time of
affliction comes, and the years draw nigh of which
thou shalt say: They please me not. Before the sun,
and the light, and the moon, and the stars be
darkened � when the keepers of the house [that is,
the hands] shall tremble, and the strong men [the
legs, which support the frame] shall stagger, and the
teeth shall be few and idle; when they that looked
through the eyes [the faculties of the soul] shall be
darkened; when they shall shut the doors in the
street [that is, the senses by which we communicate
with the outer world] � when man shall rise with the
bird [for old age requires little sleep]; when all
the daughters of music shall grow deaf [for the
organs of the voice grow weak and narrow]; when man
shall fear high things and be afraid in the way [for
old age shuns a steep and rugged way, and trembles as
it walks]; when the almond tree shall flourish [that
is, when the head shall be crowned with white hair] �
when man shall enter the house of his eternity [which
is the tomb]; when his friends shall lament and mourn
for him � and when dust shall return to the earth
whence it came, and the spirit shall return to God
who gave it." (Eccles. 12:1-7). Therefore, defer
not your repentance until old age, when virtue will
seem a necessity rather than a choice, and when it
may be said that your vices have left you, rather
than that you have left them. Remember, however,
that old age is generally what youth has been: For as
the sacred writer observes, "how shalt thou find in
thy old age the things thou hast not gathered in thy
youth?" (Ecclus. 25:5). Let me urge you, then, in the
words of the same inspired author, to "give thanks
whilst thou art living and in health, to praise God
and glory in His mercies." (Ecclus. 17:27). Among
those who waited at the pool of Bethsaida (Cf. Jn.
5:4), he only was cured who first plunged into the
water after it had been moved by the angel. The
salvation of our soul, in like manner, depends upon
the promptness and submission with which we obey the
inspiration with which God moves us. Delay not,
therefore, dear Christian, but make all the haste you
can; and if, as the prophet says, "you shall hear his
voice today" (Ps. 94:8), defer not your answer till
tomorrow, but set about a work the difficulty of
which will be so much lessened by a timely beginning.
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