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Nature, as far as I know, never converts fire into
water, though some waters turn into fire. Yet God did
it once by miracle. For as it is written in the Book
of Machabees,(1) when the children of Israel were
conducted into Babylon, in the time of Sedecias, the
priests, by the counsel of Jeremias, hid the holy
fire in a valley, in a dry well, and upon their
return, the children of those that had hid it went to
seek it, following the direction their fathers had
given them, and they found it converted into a thick
water, which being drawn by them, and poured upon the
sacrifices, as Nehemias commanded was, when the
sunbeams touched it, converted into a great fire.
Theotimus, amongst the tribulations and remorse of
a lively repentance God often puts in the bottom of
our heart the sacred fire of his love, this love is
converted into the water of tears, they by a second
change into another and greater fire of love. Thus
the famous penitent lover first loved her Saviour,
her love was converted into tears, and these tears
into an excellent love; whence Our Saviour told her
that many sins were pardoned her because she had
loved much.(2)
And as we see fire turns wine into a certain water
which is called almost everywhere aquavitae, which so
easily takes and augments fire that in many places it
is also termed ardent; so the amorous consideration
of the goodness which, while it ought to have been
sovereignty loved, has been offended by sin, produces
the water of holy penitence; and from this water the
fire of divine love issues, thence properly termed
water of life or ardent. Penitence is indeed a water
in its substance, being a true displeasure, a real
sorrow and repentance; yet is it ardent, in that it
contains the virtue and properties of love, as
arising from a motive of love, and by this property
it gives the life of grace. So that perfect penitence
has two different effects; for in virtue of its
sorrow and detestation
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it separates us from sin and the creature, to which
delectation had attached us; but in virtue of the
motive of love, whence it takes its origin, it
reconciles us and reunites us to our God, from whom
we had separated ourselves by contempt: so that it at
once reclaims us from sin in quality of repentance,
and reunites us to God in quality of love.
But I do not mean to say that the perfect love of
God, by which we love him above all things, always
precedes this repentance, or that this repentance
always precedes this love. For though it often so
happens, still at other times, as soon as divine love
is born in our hearts, penitence is born within the
love, and oftentimes penitence entering into our
heart, love enters in penitence. And as when Esau was
born, Jacob his twin brother held him by the foot,
that their births might not only follow the one the
other, but also might cleave together and be
intermingled; so repentance, rude and rough in regard
of its pain, is born first, as another Esau; and
love, gentle and gracious as Jacob, holds him by the
foot, and cleaves unto him so closely that their
birth is but one, since the end of the birth of
repentance is the beginning of that of perfect love.
Now as Esau first appeared so repentance ordinarily
makes itself to be seen before love, but love, as
another Jacob, although the younger, afterwards
subdues penitence, converting it into consolation.
Mark, I pray you, Theotimus, the well-beloved
Magdalen, how she weeps with love: They have taken
away my Lord, says she, melting into tears; and I
know not where they have laid him,3 but having with
sighs and tears found him, she holds and possesses
him by love. Imperfect love desires and runs after
him, penitence seeks and finds him; perfect love
holds and clasps him. It is with it as is said to be
with Ethiopian rubies, whose fire is naturally very
faint, but when they are dipped in vinegar it
sparkles out and casts a most brilliant lustre: for
the love which goes before repentance is ordinarily
imperfect; but being steeped in the sharpness of
penitence, it gains strength end becomes excellent
love.
It even happens sometimes that repentance, though
perfect,
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contains not in itself the proper action of love, but
only the virtue and property of it. You will ask me,
what virtue or property of love can repentance have,
if it have not the action? Theotimus, God's goodness
is the motive of perfect repentance, which it
displeases us to have offended: now this motive is a
motive only because it stirs us and gives us
movement. But the movement which the divine goodness
gives unto the heart which considers it, can be no
other than the movement of love, that is, of union.
And therefore true repentance, though it seem not so,
and though we perceive not the proper effect of love,
yet ever takes the movement of love, and the unitive
quality of love, by which it re-unites and re-joins
us to the divine goodness. Tell me, I pray: - it is
the property of the loadstone to draw and unite iron
unto itself; but do we not see that iron touched with
the loadstone, without having either it or its
nature, but only its virtue and attractive quality,
can draw and unite to itself another iron? So perfect
repentance, touched with the motive of love, is not
without the virtue and quality thereof, that is, the
movement of union to re-join and re-unite our hearts
to the divine will. But you will reply, what
difference is there between this movement of
penitence, and the proper action of love? Theotimus,
the action of love is indeed a movement of union, but
it is made by complacency, whereas the movement of
union which is in penitence is not made by way of
complacency, but by displeasure, repentance,
reparation, reconciliation. Forasmuch therefore as
this motive unites, it has the quality of love;
inasmuch as it is bitter and dolorous it has the
quality of penitence, and in fine, by its natural
condition it is a true movement of penitence, but one
which has the virtue and uniting quality of love.
So Theriacum - wine is not so named because it
contains the proper substance of Theriacum, for there
is none at all in it; but it is so called because the
plant of the vine having been steeped in Theriacum,
the grapes and the wine which have sprung from it
have drawn into themselves the virtue and operation
of Theriacum against all sorts of poison. We must not
therefore think it strange if penitence, according to
the Holy scripture, blots out sin, saves the soul,
makes her grateful
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God and justifies her, which are effects appertaining
to love, and which apparently should only be
attributed to love: for though love itself be not
always found in perfect penitence, yet its virtue and
properties are always there, having flowed into it by
the motive of love whence it springs.
Nor must we wonder that the force of love should be
found in penitence before love be formed in it, since
we see that by the reflection of the rays of the sun
beating upon a mirror, heat, which is the virtue and
the proper quality of fire, grows by little and
little so strong that it begins to burn before it has
yet well produced the fire, or at least before we
have perceived it. For so the Holy Ghost casting into
our understanding the consideration of the greatness
of our sins, in that by them we have offended so
sovereign a goodness, and our will receiving the
reflection of this knowledge, repentance by little
and little grows so strong, with a certain affective
heat and desire to return into grace with God, that
in fine this movement comes to such a height, that it
burns and unites even before the love be fully
formed, though love, as a sacred fire, is always at
once lighted, at this point. So that repentance never
comes to this height of burning and re-uniting the
heart to God, which is her utmost perfection, without
finding herself wholly converted into fire and flame
of love, the end of the one giving the other a
beginning; or rather, the end of penitence is within
the commencement of love, as Esau's foot was within
Jacob's hand; in such sort that while Esau was ending
his birth, Jacob was beginning his, the end of the
one's birth being joined anal fastened to, yea, what
is more, included in, the beginning of the other's:
for so the beginning of perfect love not only follows
the end of penitence but even cleaves and ties itself
to it; and to say all in one word, this beginning of
love mingles itself with the end of penitence, and in
this moment of mingling, penitence and contrition
merit life everlasting.
Now because this loving repentance is ordinarily
practised by elevations and raisings of the heart to
God, line to those of the ancient penitents: I am
thine, save thou me. Have mercy on me, O God, have
mercy on me: for my soul trusteth in thee! Save me, O
God; for the waters are come in even unto my soul!
Make
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me as one of thy hired servants! O God be merciful to
me a sinner! - it is not without reason that some
have said, that prayer justifies; for the repentant
prayer, or the suppliant repentance, raising up the
soul to God and re-uniting it to his goodness,
without doubt obtains pardon in virtue of the holy
love, which gives it the sacred movement. And
therefore we ought all to have very many such
ejaculatory prayers, made in the sense of a loving
repentance and of sighs which seek our reconciliation
with Gods so that by these laying our tribulation
before Our Saviour, we may pour out our souls before
and. within his pitiful heart, which will receive
them to mercy.
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