|
As we are saying, then, this little butterfly has now
died, full of joy at having found rest, and within
her lives Christ. Let us see what her new life is
like, and how different it is from her earlier one,
for it is by the effects which result from this
prayer that we shall know if what has been said is
true. As far as I can understand, the effects are
these.
First, there is a self-forgetfulness which is
so complete that it really seems as though the soul
no longer existed, because it is such that she has
neither knowledge nor remembrance that there is
either heaven or life or honour for her, so entirely
is she employed in seeking the honour of God. It
appears that the words which His Majesty addressed to
her have produced their effect -- namely, that she
must take care of His business and He will take care
of hers.[237] And thus, happen what may, she does not
mind in the least, but lives in so strange a state of
forgetfulness that, as I say, she seems no longer to
exist, and has no desire to exist -- no, absolutely
none -- save when she realizes that she can do
something to advance the glory and honour of God, for
which she would gladly lay down her life.
Do not understand by this, daughters, that she
neglects to eat and sleep (though having to do this
is no little torment to her), or to do anything which
is made incumbent upon her by her profession. We are
talking of interior matters: as regards exterior ones
there is little to be said. Her great grief is to see
that all she can do of her own strength is as
nothing. Anything that she is capable of doing and
knows to be of service to Our Lord she would not fail
to do for any reason upon earth.
The second effect produced is a great desire
to suffer, but this is not of such a kind as to
disturb the soul, as it did previously. So extreme is
her longing for the will of God to be done in her
that whatever His Majesty does she considers to be
for the best: if He wills that she should suffer,
well and good; if not, she does not worry herself to
death as she did before.
When these souls are persecuted again, they have a
great interior joy, and much more peace than in the
state described above. They bear no enmity to those
who ill-treat them, or desire to do so. Indeed they
conceive a special love for them, so that, if they
see them in some trouble, they are deeply grieved and
would do anything possible to relieve them; they love
to commend them to God, and they would rejoice at not
being given some of the honours which His Majesty
bestows upon them if their enemies might have them
instead and thus be prevented from offending Our
Lord.
What surprises me most is this. You have already seen
what trials and afflictions these souls have suffered
because of their desire to die and thus to enjoy Our
Lord. They have now an equally strong desire to serve
Him, and to sing His praise, and to help some soul if
they can. So what they desire now is not merely not
to die but to live for a great many years and to
suffer the severest trials, if by so doing they can
become the means whereby the Lord is praised, even in
the smallest thing.
If they knew for certain that, on leaving the body,
they would have fruition of God, their attitude would
not be affected, nor is it altered when they think of
the glory which belongs to the saints, for they do
not desire as yet to attain this. Their conception of
glory is of being able in some way to help the
Crucified, especially when they see how often people
offend Him and how few there are who really care
about His honour and are detached from everything
else.
True, they sometimes forget this, turn with tender
longing to the thought of enjoying God and desire to
escape from this exile, especially when they see how
little they are doing to serve Him. But then they
turn back and look within themselves and remember
that they have Him with them continually; and they
are content with this and offer His Majesty their
will to live as the most costly oblation they can
give Him. They are no more afraid of death than they
would be of gentle rapture. The explanation of this
is that it is He Who gave the soul those earlier
desires, accompanied by such excessive torment, that
now gives it these others. May He be blessed and
praised for ever.
In short, the desires of these souls are no longer
for consolations or favours, for they have with them
the Lord Himself and it is His Majesty Who now lives
in them. His life, of course, was nothing but a
continual torment and so He is making our life the
same, at least as far as our desires go. In other
respects, He treats us as weaklings, though He has
ample fortitude to give us when He sees that we need
it.
These souls have a marked detachment from everything
and a desire to be always either alone or busy with
something that is to some soul's advantage. They have
no aridities or interior trials but a remembrance of
Our Lord and a tender love for Him, so that they
would like never to be doing anything but giving Him
praise.
When the soul is negligent, the Lord Himself awakens
it in the way that has been described, so that it
sees quite clearly that this impulse, or whatever it
is called, proceeds from the interior of the soul, as
we said when discussing these impulses. It is now
felt very gently, but it proceeds neither from the
thought nor from the memory, nor can it be supposed
that the soul has had any part in it. This is so
usual and occurs so frequently that it has been
observed with special care: just as the flames of a
fire, however great, never travel downwards, but
always upwards, so here it is evident that this
interior movement proceeds from the centre of the
soul and awakens the faculties.
Really, were there nothing else to be gained from
this way of prayer but our realization of God's
special care for us in His communing with us and of
the way He keeps begging us to dwell with Him (for He
seems to be doing nothing less), I believe that all
trials would be well endured if they led to the
enjoyment of these gentle yet penetrating touches of
His love. This, sisters, you will have experienced,
for I think that, when the soul reaches the Prayer of
Union, the Lord begins to exercise this care over us
if we do not neglect the keeping of His commandments.
When this experience comes to you, remember that it
belongs to this innermost Mansion, where God dwells
in our souls, and give Him fervent praise, for it is
He who sends it to you, like a message, or a letter,
written very lovingly and in such a way that He would
have you alone be able to understand what He has
written and what He is asking of you in it.[238] On
no account must you fail to answer His Majesty, even
if you are busy with exterior affairs and engaged in
conversation.
It may often happen that Our Lord will be pleased to
bestow this secret favour upon you in public, as your
reply must needs be an interior one, it will be very
easy for you to do what I say and make an act of love
or exclaim with Saint Paul: "Lord, what wilt Thou
have me to do?"[239] Then He will show you many ways
of pleasing Him. For now is the accepted time: He
seems indeed to be listening to us and this delicate
touch almost always prepares the soul to be able to
do, with a resolute will, what He has commanded it.
The difference between this Mansion and the rest has
already been explained. There are hardly any of the
periods of aridity or interior disturbance in it
which at one time or another have occurred in all the
rest, but the soul is almost always in tranquility.
It is not afraid that this sublime favour may be
counterfeited by the devil but retains the unwavering
certainty that it comes from God. For, as has been
said, the senses and faculties have no part in this:
His Majesty has revealed Himself to the soul and
taken it with Him into a place where, as I believe,
the devil will not enter, because the Lord will not
allow him to do so; and all the favours which the
Lord grants the soul here, as I have said, come quite
independently of the acts of the soul itself, apart
from that of its having committed itself wholly to
God.
So tranquilly and noiselessly does the Lord teach the
soul in this state and do it good that I am reminded
of the building of Solomon's temple, during which no
noise could be heard; just so, in this temple of God,
in this Mansion of His, He and the soul alone have
fruition of each other in the deepest silence. There
is no reason now for the understanding to stir, or to
seek out anything, for the Lord Who created the soul
is now pleased to calm it and would have it look, as
it were, through a little chink, at what is passing.
Now and then it loses sight of it and is unable to
see anything; but this is only for a very brief time.
The faculties, I think, are not lost here; it is
merely that they do not work but seem to be dazed.
And I am quite dazed myself when I observe that, on
reaching this state, the soul has no more raptures
(accompanied, that is to say, by the suspension of
the senses),[240] save very occasionally, and even
then it has not the same transports and flights of
the spirit. These raptures, too, happen only rarely,
and hardly ever in public as they very often did
before.[241] Nor have they any connection, as they
had before, with great occasions of devotion; if we
see a devotional image or hear a sermon, it is almost
as if we had heard nothing, and it is the same with
music.
Previously, the poor little butterfly was always so
worried that everything frightened her and made her
fly away. But it is not so now, whether because she
has found her rest, or because the soul has seen so
much in this Mansion that it can be frightened at
nothing, or because it no longer has that solitude
which it was wont to have, now that it is enjoying
such companionship.
Well, sisters, I do not know what the reason may be,
but, when the Lord begins to reveal the contents of
this Mansion and brings souls into it, they lose the
great weakness which was such a trial to them and of
which previously they could not rid themselves.
Perhaps the reason is that the Lord has so greatly
strengthened and dilated and equipped the soul, or it
may be that, for reasons which His Majesty alone
knows, He was anxious to make a public revelation of
His secret dealings with such souls, for His
judgments surpass all that we can imagine here on
earth.
These effects God bestows, together with all those
other good effects already described in the
above-mentioned degrees of prayer, when the soul
approaches Him, and He also gives the soul that kiss
for which the Bride besought Him; for I understand it
to be in this Mansion that that petition is
fulfilled. Here to this wounded hart are given waters
in abundance. Here the soul delights in the
tabernacle of God.[242] Here the dove sent out by Noe
to see if the storm is over finds the
olive-branch[243] -- the sign that it has discovered
firm ground amidst the waters and storms of this
world.
Oh, Jesus! If only one knew how many things there are
in Scripture which describe this peace of the soul!
My God, since Thou seest how needful it is for us, do
Thou inspire Christians to desire to seek it; take it
not, by Thy mercy, from those to whom Thou hast given
it, and who, until Thou give them true peace and take
them where peace will never end, must always live in
fear. I say "true" peace, not because I think this
peace is not true, but because in this life war might
always begin again if we were to withdraw from God.
And what will be the feeling of these souls when they
realize that they might lack so great a blessing? The
thought makes them walk the more warily and endeavour
to bring strength out of their weakness, so as not to
be responsible for losing any opportunity which might
offer itself to them of pleasing God better. The more
they are favoured by God, the more timorous and
fearful do they become concerning themselves, and as
they have learned more about their own wretchedness
by comparing it with His greatness and their sins are
now so much more serious to them, they often go
about, like the Publican, without daring to lift up
their eyes.[244]
At other times, they long to reach the end of their
lives so as to be in safety, though they are soon
anxious again to live longer so that they may serve
Him because of the love which they bear Him, as has
been said, and they trust all that concerns
themselves to His mercy. Sometimes the many favours
they receive leave them overwhelmed, and afraid lest
they be like an overladen ship sinking to the bottom
of the sea.
I assure you, sisters, that they have no lack of
crosses, but these do not unsettle them or deprive
them of their peace. The few storms pass quickly,
like waves of the sea, and fair weather returns, and
then the Presence of the Lord which they have within
them makes them forget everything. May He be for ever
blessed and praised by all His creatures. Amen.
|