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How much rest can this poor little butterfly have
amid all these trials and other things that I have
described? Its whole will is set on desiring to have
ever-increasing fruition of its Spouse; and His
Majesty, knowing our weakness, continues to grant it
the things it wants, and many more, so that it may
have the courage to achieve union with so great a
Lord and to take Him for its Spouse.
You will laugh at my saying this and call it
ridiculous, for you will all think courage is quite
unnecessary and suppose there is no woman, however
lowly, who would not be brave enough to betroth
herself to the King. This would be so, I think, with
an earthly king, but for betrothal with the King of
Heaven I must warn you that there is more need of
courage than you imagine, because our nature is very
timid and lowly for so great an undertaking, and I am
certain that, unless God granted us strength,[12] it
would be impossible.
And now you are going to see what His Majesty does
to confirm this betrothal, for this, as I understand
it, is what happens when He bestows raptures, which
carry the soul out of its senses; for if, while still
in possession of its senses, the soul saw that it was
so near to such great majesty, it might perhaps be
unable to remain alive. It must be understood that I
am referring to genuine raptures, and not to women's
weaknesses, which we all have in this life, so that
we are apt to think everything is rapture and
ecstasy. And, as I believe I have said, there are
some people who have such poor constitutions that one
experience of the Prayer of Quiet kills them.
I want to enumerate here some different kinds of
rapture which I have got to know about through
conversations with spiritual people. I am not sure if
I shall succeed in doing so, any more than when I
wrote of this before.[13] For various reasons it has
been thought immaterial if I should repeat myself in
discussing this and other matters connected with it,
if for no other object than that of setting down in
one place all that there is to be said about each
Mansion.
One kind of rapture is this. The soul, though not
actually engaged in prayer, is struck by some word,
which it either remembers or hears spoken by God. His
Majesty is moved with compassion at having seen the
soul suffering so long through its yearning for Him,
and seems to be causing the spark of which we have
already spoken to grow within it, so that, like the
phoenix, it catches fire and springs into new life.
One may piously believe that the sins of such a soul
are pardoned, assuming that it is in the proper
disposition and has used the means of grace, as the
Church teaches.[14] When it is thus cleansed, God
unites it with Himself, in a way which none can
understand save it and He, and even the soul itself
does not understand this in such a way as to be able
to speak of it afterwards, though it is not deprived
of its interior senses; for it is not like one who
suffers a swoon or a paroxysm so that it can
understand nothing either within itself or without.
The position, in this case, as I understand it, is
that the soul has never before been so fully awake to
the things of God or had such light or such knowledge
of His Majesty. This may seem impossible; because, if
the faculties are so completely absorbed that we
might describe them as dead, and the senses are so as
well, how can the soul be said to understand this
secret? I cannot say, nor perhaps can any creature,
but only the Creator Himself, nor can I speak of many
other things that happen in this state -- I mean in
these two Mansions, for this and the last might be
fused in one: there is no closed door to separate the
one from the other. As, however, there are things in
the latter Mansion which are not shown to those who
have not yet reached it, I have thought it best to
separate them.
When the soul is in this state of suspension and the
Lord sees fit to reveal to it certain mysteries, such
as heavenly things and imaginary visions, it is able
subsequently to describe these, for they are so
deeply impressed upon the memory that they can never
again be forgotten. But when they are intellectual
visions they cannot be so described; for at these
times come visions of so sublime a kind that it is
not fitting for those who live on earth to understand
them in such a way that they can describe them;
although after regaining possession of their senses
they can often describe many of these intellectual
visions.
It may be that some of you do not understand what is
meant by a vision, especially by an intellectual
vision. I shall explain this in due course, as I have
been commanded to do so by him who has authority over
me; and although it may seem irrelevant there may
possibly be souls who will find it helpful. "But,"
you will say to me, "if the soul is not going to
remember these sublime favours which the Lord grants
it in this state, how can they bring it any profit?"
Oh, daughters, the profit is so great that it cannot
be exaggerated, for, although one cannot describe
these favours, they are clearly imprinted in the very
depths of the soul and they are never forgotten.
"But," you will say next, "if the soul retains no
image of them and the faculties are unable to
understand them, how can they be remembered?" This,
too, is more than I can understand; but I know that
certain truths concerning the greatness of God
remains so firmly in the soul that even had it not
faith which will tell it Who He is and that it is
bound to believe Him to be God, the soul would adore
Him as such from that very moment, just as Jacob
adored Him when he saw the ladder.[15] He must, of
course, have learned other secrets which he could not
describe; for, if he had not had more interior light,
he would not have understood such great mysteries
merely from seeing a ladder on which angels were
descending and ascending.
I do not know if I am right in what I am saying, for,
although I have heard of the incident, I am not sure
if I remember it correctly. Moses, again, could not
describe all that he saw in the bush, but only as
much as God willed him to;[16] yet, if God had not
revealed secret things to his soul in such a way as
to make him sure of their truth, so that he should
know and believe Him to be God, he would not have
taken upon himself so many and such arduous labours.
Amid the thorns of that bush he must have learned
marvellous things, for it was these things which gave
him courage to do what he did for the people of
Israel.
Therefore, sisters, we must not seek out reasons
for understanding the hidden things of God; rather,
believing, as we do, in His great power, we must
clearly realize that it is impossible for worms like
ourselves, with our limited powers, to understand His
greatness. Let us give Him hearty praise for being
pleased to allow us to understand some part of it.
I am wishing I could find a suitable comparison which
would give some sort of explanation of what I am
saying. But I can think of none that will answer my
purpose. Let us put it like this, however. You enter
a private apartment in the palace of a king or a
great lord (I think they call it a camar�n), where
they have an infinite variety of glassware, and
earthenware, and all kinds of things, set out in such
a way that you can see almost all of them as you
enter. I was once taken into a room of this kind in
the house of the Duchess of Alba, where I was
commanded by obedience to stay,[17] in the course of
a journey, at her pressing invitation. When I went in
I was astounded and began to wonder what all this
mass of things could be used for, and then I realized
that the sight of so many different things might lead
one to glorify the Lord. It occurs to me now how
useful an experience it was for my present purpose.
Although I was there for some time, there was so much
to be seen that I could not remember it all, so that
I could no more recall what was in those rooms than
if I had never seen them, nor could I say what the
things were made of; I can only remember having seen
them as a whole.[18]
It is just like that here. The soul becomes one
with God. It is brought into this mansion of the
empyrean Heaven which we must have in the depths of
our souls; for it is clear that, since God dwells in
them, He must have one[19] of these mansions. And
although while the soul is in ecstasy the Lord will
not always wish it to see these secrets (for it is so
much absorbed in its fruition of Him that that great
blessing suffices it), He is sometimes pleased that
it should emerge from its absorption, and then it
will at once see what there is in this room; in which
case, after coming to itself, it will remember that
revelation of the great things it has seen. It will
not, however, be able to describe any of them, nor
will its nature be able to apprehend more of the
supernatural than God has been pleased to reveal to
it.
Is this tantamount to an admission on my part that it
has really seen something and that this is an
imaginary vision? I do not mean that at all, for it
is not of imaginary, but of intellectual visions that
I am treating; only I have no learning and am too
stupid to explain anything; and I am quite clear
that, if what I have said so far about this kind of
prayer is put correctly, it is not I who have said
it. My own belief is that, if the soul to whom God
has given these secrets in its raptures never
understands any of them, they proceed, not from
raptures at all, but from some natural weakness,
which is apt to affect people of feeble constitution,
such as women. In such cases the spirit, by making a
certain effort, can overcome nature and remain in a
state of absorption, as I believe I said when dealing
with the Prayer of Quiet.
Such experiences as these have nothing to do with
raptures; for when a person is enraptured you can be
sure that God is taking her entire soul to Himself,
and that, as she is His own property and has now
become His bride, He is showing her some little part
of the kingdom which she has gained by becoming so.
This part may be only a small one, but everything
that is in this great God is very great. He will not
allow her to be disturbed either by the faculties or
by the senses; so He at once commands that all the
doors of these Mansions shall be shut, and only the
door of the Mansion in which He dwells remains open
so that we may enter. Blessed be such great mercy!
Rightly shall those who will not profit by it, and
who thus forgo the presence of their Lord, be called
accursed.
Oh, my sisters, what nothingness is all that we have
given up, and all that we are doing, or can ever do,
for a God Who is pleased to communicate Himself in
this way to a worm! If we have the hope of enjoying
this blessing while we are still in this life, what
are we doing about it and why are we waiting? What
sufficient reason is there for delaying even a short
time instead of seeking this Lord, as the Bride did,
through streets and squares?[20] Oh, what a mockery
is everything in the world if it does not lead us and
help us on the way towards this end, -- and would be
even though all the worldly delights and riches and
joys that we can imagine were to last for ever! For
everything is cloying and degrading by comparison
with these treasures, which we shall enjoy eternally.
And even these are nothing by comparison with having
for our own the Lord of all treasures and of Heaven
and earth.
Oh, human blindness! How long, how long shall it be
before this dust is removed from our eyes? For
although, as far as we ourselves are concerned, it
seems not to be bad enough to blind us altogether, I
can see some motes and particles which, if we allow
them to become more numerous, will be sufficient to
do us great harm. For the love of God, then, sisters,
let us profit by these faults and learn from them
what wretched creatures we are, and may they give us
clearer sight, as did the clay to the blind man who
was healed by our Spouse;[21] and thus, realizing our
own imperfections, we shall beseech Him more and more
earnestly to bring good out of our wretchedness, so
that we may please His Majesty in everything.
Without realizing it, I have strayed far from my
theme. Forgive me, sisters; and believe me, now that
I have come to these great things of God (come to
write about them, I mean), I cannot help feeling the
pity of it when I see how much we are losing, and all
through our own fault. For, true though it is that
these are things which the Lord gives to whom He
will, He would give them to us all if we loved Him as
He loves us. For He desires nothing else but to have
those to whom He may give them, and His riches are
not diminished by His readiness to give.
Returning now to what I was saying, the Spouse orders
the doors of the Mansions to be shut, and even those
of the Castle and its enclosure. For when He means to
enrapture this soul, it loses its power of breathing,
with the result that, although its other senses
sometimes remain active a little longer, it cannot
possibly speak. At other times it loses all its
powers at once, and the hands and the body grow so
cold that the body seems no longer to have a soul --
sometimes it even seems doubtful if there is any
breath in the body. This lasts only for a short time
(I mean, only for a short period at any one time)
because, when this profound suspension lifts a
little, the body seems to come partly to itself
again, and draws breath, though only to die once
more, and, in doing so, to give fuller life to the
soul. Complete ecstasy, therefore, does not last
long.
But, although relief comes, the ecstasy has the
effect of leaving the will so completely absorbed and
the understanding so completely transported -- for as
long as a day, or even for several days -- that the
soul seems incapable of grasping anything that does
not awaken the will to love; to this it is fully
awake, while asleep as regards all that concerns
attachment to any creature.
Oh, what confusion the soul feels when it comes to
itself again and what ardent desires it has to be
used for God in any and every way in which He may be
pleased to employ it! If such effects as have been
described result from the former kinds of prayer,
what can be said of a favour as great as this? Such a
soul would gladly have a thousand lives so as to use
them all for God, and it would like everything on
earth to be tongue so that it might praise Him. It
has tremendous desires to do penance; and whatever
penance it does it counts as very little, for its
love is so strong that it feels everything it does to
be of very small account and realizes clearly that it
was not such a great matter for the martyrs to suffer
all their tortures, for with the aid of Our Lord such
a thing becomes easy. And thus these souls make
complaint to Our Lord when He offers them no means of
suffering.
When this favour is granted them secretly they esteem
it very highly; for so great are the shame and the
confusion caused them by having to suffer before
others that to some extent they lessen the soul's
absorption in what it was enjoying, because of the
distress and the anxiety which arise from its
thoughts of what others who have seen it will think.
For, knowing the malice of the world, they realize
that their suffering may perhaps not be attributed to
its proper cause but may be made an occasion for
criticism instead of for glorifying the Lord. This
distress and shame are no longer within the soul's
own power of control, yet they seem to me to denote a
lack of humility; for if such a person really desires
to be despitefully treated, how can she mind if she
is? One who was distressed in this way heard Our Lord
say: "Be not afflicted, for either they will praise
Me or murmur at thee, and in either case thou wilt be
the gainer."[22] I learned afterwards that that
person had been greatly cheered and consoled by those
words; and I set them down here for the sake of any
who find themselves in this affliction. It seems that
Our Lord wants everyone to realize that such a
person's soul is now His and that no one must touch
it. People are welcome to attack her body, her honour,
and her possessions, for any of these attacks will be
to His Majesty's honour. But her soul they may not
attack, for unless, with most blameworthy
presumption, it tears itself away from its Spouse, He
will protect it from the whole world, and indeed from
all hell.
I do not know if I have conveyed any impression of
the nature of rapture: to give a full idea of it, as
I have said, is impossible. Still, I think there has
been no harm in my saying this, so that its nature
may be understood, since the effects of feigned
raptures are so different. (I do not use the word
"feigned" because those who experience them wish to
deceive, but because they are deceived
themselves.)[23]
As the signs and effects of these last do not
harmonize with the reception of this great favour,
the favour itself becomes discredited, so that those
to whom the Lord grants it later on are not believed.
May He be for ever blessed and praised. Amen. Amen
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