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Let us now return to our little dove, and see
something of what God gives her in this state. It
must always be understood that she will try to
advance in the service of Our Lord and in
self-knowledge. If she does no more than receive this
favour, and, as though she enjoyed complete security,
begins to lead a careless life and stray from the
road to Heaven -- that is, from the Commandments --
there will happen to her what happens to the creature
that comes out of the silkworm, which leaves seed for
the production of more silkworms and then dies for
ever.
I say it leaves seed because for my own part I
believe it is God's will that so great a favour
should not be given in vain, and that if the soul
that receives it does not profit by it others will do
so. For, as the soul possesses these aforementioned
desires and virtues, it will always profit other
souls so long as it leads a good life, and from its
own heat new heat will be transmitted to them. Even
after losing this, it may still desire others to
profit, and take pleasure in describing the favours
given by God to those who love and serve Him.
I knew a person to whom this happened,[137] and who,
though having herself gone far astray was glad that
others should profit by the favours God had shown
her, she would describe the way of prayer to those
who did not understand it, and she brought them very,
very great profit.[138] Later, the Lord gave her new
light. It is true that she had not yet experienced
the effects which have been mentioned. But how many
are called by the Lord to apostleship, as Judas was,
and enjoy communion with Him, or are called to be
made kings, as Saul was, and afterwards, through
their own fault, are lost! From this, sisters, we may
deduce that, if we are to acquire increasing merit,
and not, like Saul and Judas, to be lost, our only
possible safety consists in obedience and in never
swerving from the law of God; I am referring to those
to whom He grants these favours, and in fact to all.
Despite all I have said, this Mansion seems to me a
little obscure. There is a great deal to be gained by
entering it, and those from whom the Lord withholds
such supernatural gifts will do well to feel that
they are not without hope; for true union can quite
well be achieved, with the favour of Our Lord, if we
endeavour to attain it by not following our own will
but submitting it to whatever is the will of God. Oh,
how many of us there are who say we do this and think
we want nothing else, and would die for this truth,
as I believe I have said! For I tell you, and I shall
often repeat this, that when you have obtained this
favour from the Lord, you need not strive for that
other delectable union which has been described, for
the most valuable thing about it is that it proceeds
from this union which I am now describing; and we
cannot attain to the heights I have spoken of if we
are not sure that we have the union in which we
resign our wills to the will of God.
Oh, how much to be desired is this union! Happy the
soul that has attained to it, for it will live
peacefully both in this life and in the next as well.
Nothing that happens on earth will afflict it unless
it finds itself in peril of losing God, or sees that
He is offended -- neither sickness nor poverty nor
death, except when someone dies who was needed by the
Church of God. For this soul sees clearly that He
knows what He does better than it knows itself what
it desires.
You must observe that there are many kinds of grief.
Some of them come upon us suddenly, in natural ways,
just as pleasures do; they may even arise from
charity, which makes us pity our neighbours, as Our
Lord did when He raised Lazarus;[139] and these do
not prevent union with the will of God, nor do they
cause a restless, unquiet passion which disturbs the
soul and lasts for a long time. They are griefs which
pass quickly; for, as I said of joys in prayer, they
seem not to penetrate to the depth of the soul but
only reach these senses and faculties. They
characterize all the Mansions so far described but do
not enter that which will be dealt with last of all,
from which the suspension of the faculties already
referred to is inseparable. The Lord can enrich souls
in many ways and bring them to these Mansions by many
other paths than the short cut which has been
described.
But note very carefully, daughters, that the silkworm
has of necessity to die; and it is this which will
cost you most; for death comes more easily[140] when
one can see oneself living a new life, whereas our
duty now is to continue living this present life, and
yet to die of our own free will.[141] I confess to
you that we shall find this much harder, but it is of
the greatest value and the reward will be greater too
if you gain the victory. But you must not doubt the
possibility of this true union with the will of God.
This is the union which I have desired all my life;
it is for this that I continually beseech Our Lord;
it is this which is the most genuine and the safest.
But alas that so few of us are destined to attain it!
A person who takes care not to offend the Lord and
has entered the religious life may think he has done
everything. But oh, there are always a few little
worms which do not reveal themselves until, like the
worm which gnawed through Jonas's ivy,[142] they have
gnawed through our virtues. Such are self-love,
self-esteem, censoriousness (even if only in small
things) concerning our neighbours, lack of charity
towards them, and failure to love them as we love
ourselves. For, although late in the day we may
fulfil our obligations and so commit no sin, we are
far from attaining a point necessary to complete
union with the will of God.
What do you suppose His will is, daughters? That we
should be altogether perfect, and be one with Him and
with the Father,[143] as in His Majesty's prayer.
Consider what a long way we are from attaining this.
I assure you that it causes me real distress to write
in this way because I know how far I am from it
myself, and entirely through my own fault. For we do
not require great favours from the Lord before we can
achieve this; He has given us all we need in giving
us His Son to show us the way.
Do not think that if, for example, my father or my
brother dies, I ought to be in such close conformity
with the will of God that I shall not grieve at his
loss, or that, if I have trials or illnesses, I must
enjoy bearing them. It is good if we can do this and
some times it is a matter of common sense: being
unable to help ourselves, we make a virtue of
necessity. How often philosophers used to act thus in
matters of this kind, or in similar matters -- and
they were very wise men! But here the Lord asks only
two things of us: love for His Majesty and love for
our neighbour. It is for these two virtues that we
must strive, and if we attain them perfectly we are
doing His will and so shall be united with Him. But,
as I have said, how far we are from doing these two
things in the way we ought for a God Who is so great!
May His Majesty be pleased to give us grace so that
we may deserve to reach this state, as it is in our
power to do if we wish.
The surest sign that we are keeping these two
commandments is, I think, that we should really be
loving our neighbour; for we cannot be sure if we are
loving God, although we may have good reasons for
believing that we are, but we can know quite well if
we are loving our neighbour. And be certain that, the
farther advanced you find you are in this, the
greater the love you will have for God; for so dearly
does His Majesty love us that He will reward our love
for our neighbour by increasing the love which we
bear to Himself, and that in a thousand ways: this I
cannot doubt.
It is most important that we should proceed in this
matter very carefully, for, if we have attained great
perfection here, we have done everything. Our nature
being so evil, I do not believe we could ever attain
perfect love for our neighbour unless it had its
roots in the love of God. Since this is so important,
sisters, let us strive to get to know ourselves
better and better, even in the very smallest matters,
and take no notice of all the fine plans which come
crowding into our minds when we are at prayer, and
which we think we will put into practice and carry
out for the good of our neighbours in the hope of
saving just one soul.
If our later actions are not in harmony with those
plans, we can have no reason for believing that we
should ever have put them into practice. I say the
same of humility and of all the virtues; the wiles of
the devil are terrible, he will run a thousand times
round hell if by so doing he can make us believe that
we have a single virtue which we have not. And he is
right, for such ideas are very harmful, and such
imaginary virtues, when they come from this source,
are never unaccompanied by vainglory; just as those
which God gives are free both from this and from
pride.
I like the way in which some souls, when they are at
prayer, think that, for God's sake, they would be
glad if they could be humbled and put to open shame
-- and then try to conceal quite a slight failure.
Oh, and if they should be accused of anything that
they have not done ---- ! God save us from having to
listen to them then! Let anyone who cannot bear
trials like that be very careful to pay no heed to
the resolutions he may have made when he was alone.
For they could not in fact have been resolutions made
by the will (a genuine act of the will is quite
another matter); they must have been due to some
freak of the imagination.
The devil makes good use of the imagination in
practising his surprises and deceptions, and there
are many such which he can practise on women, or on
unlettered persons, because we do not understand the
difference between the faculties and the imagination,
and thousands of other things belonging to the
interior life. Oh, sisters, how clearly it can be
seen what love of your neighbour really means to some
of you, and what an imperfect stage it has reached in
others! If you understood the importance of this
virtue to us all you would strive after nothing but
gaining it.
When I see people very diligently trying to discover
what kind of prayer they are experiencing and so
completely wrapt up[144] in their prayers that they
seem afraid to stir, or to indulge in a moment's
thought, lest they should lose the slightest degree
of the tenderness and devotion which they have been
feeling, I realize how little they understand of the
road to the attainment of union. They think that the
whole thing consists in this. But no, sisters, no;
what the Lord desires is works.
If you see a sick woman to whom you can give some
help, never be affected by the fear that your
devotion will suffer, but take pity on her: if she is
in pain, you should feel pain too; if necessary, fast
so that she may have your food, not so much for her
sake as because you know it to be your Lord's will.
That is true union with His will. Again, if you
hear someone being highly praised, be much more
pleased than if they were praising you; this is
really easy if you have humility, for in that case
you will be sorry to hear yourself praised. To be
glad when your sisters' virtues are praised is a
great thing, and, when we see a fault in someone, we
should be as sorry about it as if it were our own and
try to conceal it from others.
I have said a great deal about this elsewhere,[145]
sisters, because I know that, if we were to fail
here, we should be lost. May the Lord grant us never
to fail, and, if that is to be so, I tell you that
you must not cease to beg His Majesty for the union
which I have described. It may be that you have
experienced devotion and consolations, so that you
think you have reached this stage, and even enjoyed
some brief period of suspension in the Prayer of
Quiet, which some people always take to mean that
everything is accomplished. But, believe me, if you
find you are lacking in this virtue, you have not yet
attained union.
So ask Our Lord to grant you this perfect love for
your neighbour, and allow His Majesty to work, and,
if you use your best endeavours and strive after this
in every way that you can, He will give you more even
than you can desire. You must do violence to your own
will, so that your sister's will is done in
everything, even though this may cause you to forgo
your own rights and forget your own good in your
concern for theirs, and however much your physical
powers may rebel. If the opportunity presents itself,
too, try to shoulder some trial in order to relieve
your neighbour of it. Do not suppose that it will
cost you nothing or that you will find it all done
for you. Think what the love which our Spouse had for
us cost Him, when, in order to redeem us from death,
He died such a grievous death as the death of the
Cross.
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