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The Voice of Christ
My child, you cannot always continue in the more
fervent desire of virtue, or remain in the higher
stage of contemplation, but because of humanity's sin
you must sometimes descend to lower things and bear
the burden of this corruptible life, albeit
unwillingly and wearily. As long as you wear a mortal
body you will suffer weariness and heaviness of
heart. You ought, therefore, to bewail in the flesh
the burden of the flesh which keeps you from giving
yourself unceasingly to spiritual exercises and
divine contemplation.In such condition, it is well
for you to apply yourself to humble, outward works
and to refresh yourself in good deeds, to await with
unshaken confidence My heavenly visitation, patiently
to bear your exile and dryness of mind until you are
again visited by Me and freed of all anxieties. For I
will cause you to forget your labors and to enjoy
inward quiet. I will spread before you the open
fields of the Scriptures, so that with an open heart
you may begin to advance in the way of My
commandments. And you will say: the sufferings of
this time are not worthy to be compared with the
future glory which shall be revealed to us.
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The Disciple
Lord, I am not worthy of Your consolation or of any spiritual
visitation. Therefore, You treat me justly when You leave me poor
and desolate. For though I could shed a sea of tears, yet I should
not be worthy of Your consolation. Hence, I deserve only to be
scourged and punished because I have offended You often and
grievously, and have sinned greatly in many things. In all
justice, therefore, I am not worthy of any consolation.But You,
O gracious and merciful God, Who do not will that Your works
should perish, deign to console Your servant beyond all his merit
and above human measure, to show the riches of Your goodness
toward the vessels of mercy. For Your consolations are not like
the words of men.
What have I done, Lord, that You should confer on me any
heavenly comfort? I remember that I have done nothing good, but
that I have always been prone to sin and slow to amend. That is
true. I cannot deny it. If I said otherwise You would stand
against me, and there would be no one to defend me. What have I
deserved for my sins except hell and everlasting fire?
In truth, I confess that I am deserving of all scorn and contempt.
Neither is it fitting that I should be remembered among Your
devoted servants. And although it is hard for me to hear this, yet
for truth's sake I will allege my sins against myself, so that I
may more easily deserve to beg Your mercy. What shall I say,
guilty as I am and full of all confusion? My tongue can say
nothing but this alone: "I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned;
have mercy on me and pardon me. Suffer me a little that I may pour
out my grief, before I go to that dark land that is covered with
the shadow of death."
What do you especially demand of a guilty and wretched sinner,
except that he be contrite and humble himself for his sins? In
true sorrow and humility of heart hope of forgiveness is born, the
troubled conscience is reconciled, grace is found, man is
preserved from the wrath to come, and God and the penitent meet
with a holy kiss.
To You, O Lord, humble sorrow for sins is an acceptable sacrifice,
a sacrifice far sweeter than the perfume of incense. This is also
the pleasing ointment which You would have poured upon Your sacred
feet, for a contrite and humble heart You have never despised.
Here is a place of refuge from the force of the enemy's anger.
Here is amended and washed away whatever defilement has been
contracted elsewhere. |
