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So much for what is to be done in times of spiritual consolations.
But these bright days will not last for ever, and sometimes you
will be so devoid of all devout feelings, that it will seem to you
that your soul is a desert land, fruitless, sterile, wherein you
can find no path leading to God, no drop of the waters of Grace to
soften the dryness which threatens to choke it entirely.
Verily, at such a time the soul is greatly to be pitied, above
all, when this trouble presses heavily, for then, like David, its
meat are tears day and night, while the Enemy strives to drive it
to despair, crying out, "Where is now thy God? how thinkest thou
to find Him, or how wilt thou ever find again the joy of His Holy
Grace?"
What will you do then, my child? Look well whence the trial
comes, for we are often ourselves the cause of our own dryness and
barrenness. A mother refuses sugar to her sickly child, and so God
deprives us of consolations when they do but feed self-complacency
or presumption. "It is good for me that I have been in trouble,
for before I was troubled I went wrong." (1)
So if we neglect to gather up and use the treasures of God's
Love in due time, He withdraws them as a punishment of our sloth.
The Israelite who neglected to gather his store of manna in the
early morning, found none after sunrise, for it was all melted.
Sometimes, too, we are like the Bride of the Canticles, slumbering
on a bed of sensual satisfaction and perishable delight, so that
when the Bridegroom knocks at the door of our heart, and calls us
to our spiritual duties, we dally with Him, loath to quit our idle
and delusive pleasures, and then He "withdraws Himself, and is
gone," and "when I sought Him, I could not find Him; I called Him,
but He gave me no answer." (2)
Of a truth we deserved as much for having been so disloyal as
to have rejected Him for the things of this world. If we are
content with the fleshpots of Egypt we shall never receive
heavenly manna. Bees abhor all artificial scents, and the
sweetness of the Holy Spirit is incompatible with the world's
artificial pleasures.
Again, any duplicity or unreality in confession or spiritual
intercourse with your director tends to dryness and barrenness,
for, if you lie to God's Holy Spirit, you can scarcely wonder that
He refuses you His comfort. If you do not choose to be simple and
honest as a little child, you will not win the child's sweetmeats.
Or you have satiated yourself with worldly delights; and so no
wonder that spiritual pleasures are repulsive to you. "To the
overfed dove even cherries are bitter," says an old proverb; and
Our Lady in her song of praise says, "He has filled the hungry
with good things, and the rich He hath sent empty away." They who
abound in earthly pleasures are incapable of appreciating such as
are spiritual.
If you have carefully stored up the fruits of past
consolations, you will receive more; "to him that hath yet more
shall be given," but from him who has not kept that which he had,
who has lost it through carelessness, that which he hath shall be
taken away, in other words, he will not receive the grace destined
for him.
Rain refreshes living plants, but it only brings rottenness and
decay to those which are already dead. There are many such causes
whereby we lose the consolations of religion, and fall into
dryness and deadness of spirit, so that it is well to examine our
conscience, and see if we can trace any of these or similar
faults. But always remember that this examination must not be made
anxiously, or in an over-exacting spirit.
Thus if, after an honest investigation of our own conduct, we
find the cause of our wrongdoing, we must thank God, for an evil
is half cured when we have found out its cause. But if, on the
contrary, you do not find any particular thing which has led to
this dryness, do not trifle away your time in a further uneasy
search, but, without more ado, and in all simplicity, do as
follows:--
- Humble yourself profoundly before God, acknowledging your
nothingness and misery. Alas, what am I when left to myself! no
better, Lord, than a parched ground, whose cracks and crevices
on every side testify its need of the gracious rain of Heaven,
while, nevertheless, the world's blasts wither it more and more
to dust.
- Call upon God, and ask for His Gladness. "O give me the
comfort of Thy help again! My Father, if it be possible, let
this cup pass from me." "Depart, O ye unfruitful wind, which
parcheth up my soul, and come, O gracious south wind, blow upon
my garden." Such loving desires will fill you with the perfume
of holiness.
- Go to your confessor, open your heart thoroughly, let him
see every corner of your soul, and take all his advice with the
utmost simplicity and humility, for God loves obedience, and He
often makes the counsel we take, specially that of the guides of
souls, to be more useful than would seem likely; just as He
caused the waters of Jordan, commended by Elijah to Naaman, to
cure his leprosy in spite of the improbability to human reason.
- But, after all, nothing is so useful, so fruitful amid this
dryness and barrenness, as not to yield to a passionate desire
of being delivered from it. I do not say that one may not desire
to be set free, but only that one ought not to desire it
over-eagerly, but to leave all to the sole Mercy of God's
special Providence, in order that, so long as He pleases, He may
keep us amid these thorns and longings. Let us say to God at
such seasons, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass
from me; "--but let us add heartily, "Nevertheless, not my will,
but Thine be done," and there let us abide as trustingly as we
are able.
When God sees us to be filled with such pious indifference, He
will comfort us with His grace and favour, as when He beheld
Abraham ready to offer up his son Isaac, and comforted him with
His blessing. In every sort of affliction, then, whether bodily
or spiritual, in every manner of distraction or loss of sensible
devotion, let us say with our whole heart, and in the deepest
submission, "The Lord gave me all my blessings, the Lord taketh
them away, blessed be the Name of the Lord." If we persevere in
this humility, He will restore to us His mercies as he did to
Job, who ever spake thus amid all his troubles.
- And lastly, my daughter, amid all our dryness let us never
grow discouraged, but go steadily on, patiently waiting the
return of better things; let us never be misled to give up any
devout practices because of it, but rather if possible, let us
increase our good works, and if we cannot offer liquid preserves
to our Bridegroom, let us at least offer Him dried fruit--it is
all one to Him, so long as the heart we offer be fully resolved
to love Him.
In fine weather bees make more honey and breed fewer grubs,
because they spend so much time in gathering the sweet juices of
the flowers that they neglect the multiplication of their race.
But in a cold, cloudy spring they have a fuller hive and less
honey.
And so sometimes, my daughter, in the glowing springtide of
spiritual consolations, the soul spends so much time in storing
them up, that amid such abundance it performs fewer good works;
while, on the contrary, when amid spiritual dryness and
bitterness, and devoid of all that is attractive in devotion, it
multiplies its substantial good works, and abounds in the hidden
virtues of patience, humility, self-abnegation, resignation and
unselfishness.
Some people, especially women, fall into the great mistake of
imagining that when we offer a dry, distasteful service to God,
devoid of all sentiment and emotion, it is unacceptable to His
Divine Majesty; whereas, on the contrary, our actions are like
roses, which, though they may be more beautiful when fresh, have
a sweeter and stronger scent when they are dried. Good works,
done with pleasurable interest, are pleasanter to us who think
of nothing save our own satisfaction, but when they are done
amid dryness and deadness they are more precious in God's Sight.
Yes indeed, my daughter, for in seasons of dryness our will
forcibly carries us on in God's Service, and so it is stronger
and more vigorous than at a softer time. There is not much to
boast of in serving our Prince in the comfort of a time of
peace, but to serve Him amid the toils and hardness of war, amid
trial and persecution, is a real proof of faithfulness and
perseverance.
The blessed Angela di Foligni said, that the most acceptable
prayer to God is what is made forcibly and in spite of
ourselves; that is to say, prayer made not to please ourselves
or our own taste, but solely to please God;--carried on, as it
were, in spite of inclination, the will triumphing over all our
drynesses and repugnances. And so of all good works;--the more
contradictions, exterior or interior, against which we contend
in their fulfilment, the more precious they are in God's Sight;
the less of self-pleasing in striving after any virtue, the more
Divine Love shines forth in all its purity.
A child is easily moved to fondle its mother when she gives it
sweet things, but if he kisses her in return for wormwood or
camomile it is a proof of very real affection on his part.
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