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This distinction, which is very important, is well illustrated by
the description S. Jerome gives of a young man bound to a
voluptuous bed by the softest silken cords, and subjected to the
wiles and lures of a treacherous tempter, with the express object
of causing him to fall. Greatly as all his senses and imagination
must inevitably have been possessed by so vehement an assault, he
proved that his heart was free and his will unconquered, for,
having physical control over no member save his tongue, he bit
that off and spat it out at his foe, a foe more terrible than the
tyrant's executioners.
S. Catherine of Sienna has left a somewhat similar record. The
Evil One having obtained permission from God to assault that pious
virgin with all his strength, so long as he laid no hand upon her,
filled her heart with impure suggestions, and surrounded her with
every conceivable temptation of sight and sound, which,
penetrating into the Saint's heart, so filled it, that, as she
herself has said, nothing remained free save her most acute
superior will.
This struggle endured long, until at length Our Lord appeared
to her, and she exclaimed, "Where wert Thou, O most Dear Lord,
when my heart was so overwhelmed with darkness and foulness?"
Whereupon He answered, "I was within thy heart, My child." "How
could that be, Lord," she asked, "when it was so full of evil?
Canst Thou abide in a place so foul?" Then our Lord replied, "Tell
Me, did these evil thoughts and imaginations give thee pain or
pleasure? didst thou take delight, or didst thou grieve over
them?" To which S. Catherine made answer, "They grieved me
exceedingly." Then the Lord said, "Who, thinkest thou, was it that
caused thee to be thus grieved, save I Myself, hidden within thy
soul? Believe Me, My child, had I not been there, these evil
thoughts which swarmed around thy soul, and which thou couldst not
banish, would speedily have overpowered it, and entering in, thy
free will would have accepted them, and so death had struck that
soul; but inasmuch as I was there, I filled thy heart with
reluctance and resistance, so that it set itself stedfastly
against the temptation, and finding itself unable to contend as
vigorously as it desired, it did but experience a yet more
vehement abhorrence of sin and of itself. Thus these very troubles
became a great merit again to thee, and a great accession of
virtue and strength to thy soul."
Here, you see, were the embers covered over with ashes, while
temptation and delectation had entered the heart and surrounded
the will, which, aided only by the Saviour, resisted all evil
inspirations with great disgust, and a persevering refusal to
consent to sin. Verily the soul which loves God is sometimes in
sore straits to know whether He abideth in it or no, and whether
that Divine Love for which it fights is extinguished or burns yet.
But it is the very essence of the perfection of that Heavenly Love
to require its lovers to endure and fight for Love's sake, without
knowing even whether they possess the very Love for which and in
which they strive.
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