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Everybody grants that we must guard against the desire for evil
things, since evil desires make evil men. But I say yet further,
my daughter, do not desire dangerous things, such as balls or
pleasures, office or honour, visions or ecstacies.
Do not long after things afar off; such, I mean, as cannot
happen till a distant time, as some do who by this means wear
themselves out and expend their energies uselessly, fostering a
dangerous spirit of distraction. If a young man gives way to
overweening longings for an employment he cannot obtain yet a
while, what good will it do him? If a married woman sets her heart
on becoming a religious, or if I crave to buy my neighbour's
estate, he not being willing to sell it, is it not mere waste of
time? If, when sick, I am restlessly anxious to preach or
celebrate, to visit other sick people, or generally to do work
befitting the strong, is it not an unprofitable desire, inasmuch
as I have no power to fulfil it? and meanwhile these useless
wishes take the place of such as I ought to have,-- namely, to be
patient, resigned, self-denying, obedient, gentle under
suffering,--which are what God requires of me under the
circumstances.
We are too apt to be like a sickly woman, craving ripe cherries
in autumn and grapes in spring. I can never think it well for one
whose vocation is clear to waste time in wishing for some
different manner of life than that which is adapted to his duty,
or practices unsuitable to his present position--it is mere
idling, and will make him slack in his needful work.
If I long after a Carthusian solitude, I am losing my time, and
such longing usurps the place of that which I ought to
entertain--to fulfil my actual duties rightly. No indeed, I would
not even have people wish for more wit or better judgment, for
such desires are frivolous, and take the place of the wish every
one ought to possess of improving what he has.
We ought not to desire ways of serving God which He does not
open to us, but rather desire to use what we have rightly. Of
course I mean by this, real earnest desires, not common
superficial wishes, which do no harm if not too frequently
indulged.
Do not desire crosses, unless you have borne those already laid
upon you well--it is an abuse to long after martyrdom while unable
to bear an insult patiently. The Enemy of souls often inspires men
with ardent desires for unattainable things, in order to divert
their attention from present duties, which would be profitable
however trifling in themselves. We are apt to fight African
monsters in imagination, while we let very petty foes vanquish us
in reality for want of due heed.
Do not desire temptations, that is temerity, but prepare your
heart to meet them bravely, and to resist them when they come.
Too great variety and quantity of food loads the stomach, and
(especially when it is weakly) spoils the digestion. Do not
overload your soul with innumerable longings, either worldly, for
that were destruction,--or even spiritual, for these only cumber
you. When the soul is purged of the evil humours of sin, it
experiences a ravenous hunger for spiritual things, and sets to
work as one famished at all manner of spiritual
exercises;--mortification, penitence, humility, charity, prayer.
Doubtless such an appetite is a good sign, but it behoves you to
reflect whether you are able to digest all that you fain would
eat.
Make rather a selection from all these desires, under the
guidance of your spiritual father, of such as you are able to
perform, and then use them as perfectly as you are able. When you
have done this, God will send you more, to be fulfilled in their
turn, and so you will not waste time in unprofitable wishes. Not
that I would have you lose any good desires, but rather treat them
methodically, putting them aside in one corner of your heart till
due time comes, while you carry out such as are ripe for action.
And this counsel I give to worldly people as well as those who
are spiritual, for without heeding it no one can avoid anxiety and
over-eagerness.
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