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1. The afflictions and straits of the will are also immense. Sometimes these
afflictions pierce the soul when it suddenly remembers the evils in which it
sees itself immersed, and it becomes uncertain of any remedy. To this pain is
added the remembrance of past prosperity, because usually persons who enter this
night have previously had many consolations in God and rendered him many
services. They are now sorrowful in knowing that they are far from such good and
can no longer enjoy it. Job tells also of his affliction: I who was wont to be
wealthy and rich am suddenly undone and broken; he has taken me by the neck, he
has broken me and set me up as his mark so as to wound me. He has surrounded me
with his lances, he wounded all my loins, he has not pardoned, he has scattered
my bowels on the ground, he has torn me with wound upon wound, he has attacked
me like a strong giant. I sewed sackcloth upon my skin and covered my flesh with
ashes. My face is swollen with weeping, and my eyes blinded [Jb. 16:12-16].
2. So numerous and burdensome are the pains of this night, and so many are the
scriptural passages we could cite that we would have neither the time nor the
energy to put it all in writing; and, doubtless, all that we can possibly say
would fall short of expressing what this night really is. Through the texts
already quoted we have some idea of it.
To conclude my commentary on this verse2
and further explain what this night causes in the soul, I will refer to what
Jeremiah felt in it. Because his tribulations were so terrible, he speaks of
them and weeps over them profusely: I am the man who sees my poverty in the rod
of his indignation. He has led me and brought me into darkness and not into
light. He has turned and turned again his hand against me all the day. He has
made my skin and my flesh old; he has broken my bones. He has built a fence
round about me; and he has surrounded me with gall and labor. He has set me in
darkness, as those who are dead forever. He has made a fence around me and
against me that I might not go out; he has made my fetters heavy. And also when
I might have cried out and entreated, he has shut out my prayer. He has closed
up my exits and ways with square stones; he has destroyed my paths. He is become
to me like a bear lying in wait, as a lion in hiding. He has turned aside my
paths, and broken me in pieces; he has made me desolate. He has bent his bow and
set me as a mark for his arrow. He has shot into my reins the daughters of his
quiver. I have become a derision to all the people, and laughter and scorn for
them all the day. He has filled me with bitterness, he has inebriated me with
absinthe. One by one he has broken my teeth; he has fed me with ashes. My soul
is far removed from peace. I have forgotten good things. And I said: My end, my
aim and my hope from the Lord is frustrated and finished. Remember my poverty
and my distress, the absinthe and the gall. I shall be mindful and remember, and
my soul will languish within me in afflictions [Lam. 3:1-20].
3. Jeremiah gives vent to all these lamentations about his afflictions and
trials and depicts very vividly the sufferings of a soul in this purgation and
spiritual night.
One ought to have deep compassion for the soul God puts in this
tempestuous and frightful night. It may be true that the soul is fortunate
because of what is being accomplished within it, for great blessings will
proceed from this night; and Job affirms that out of darkness God will raise up
in the soul profound blessings and change the shadow of death into light [Jb.
12:22]; and God will do this in such a way that, as David says, the light will
become what the darkness was [Ps. 139:12]. Nevertheless, the soul is deserving
of great pity because of the immense tribulation and the suffering of extreme
uncertainty about a remedy. It believes, as Jeremiah says [Lam. 3:18], that its
evil will never end. And it feels as David that God has placed it in darkness
like the dead of old, and that its spirit as a result is in anguish within it
and its heart troubled [Ps. 143:3-4].
Added to this, because of the solitude and
desolation this night causes, is the fact that individuals in this state find
neither consolation nor support in any doctrine or spiritual master. Although
their spiritual director may point out many reasons for comfort on account of
the blessings contained in these afflictions, they cannot believe this. Because
they are engulfed and immersed in that feeling of evil by which they so clearly
see their own miseries, they believe their directors say these things because
they do not understand them and do not see what they themselves see and feel.
Instead of consolation they experience greater sorrow, thinking that the
director's doctrine is no remedy for their evil. Indeed, it is not a remedy, for
until the Lord finishes purging them in the way he desires, no remedy is a help
to them in their sorrow. Their helplessness is even greater because of the
little they can do in this situation. They resemble one who is imprisoned in a
dark dungeon, bound hands and feet, and able neither to move nor see nor feel
any favor from heaven or earth. They remain in this condition until their spirit
is humbled, softened, and purified, until it becomes so delicate, simple, and
refined that it can be one with the Spirit of God, according to the degree of
union of love that God, in his mercy, desires to grant. In conformity with this
degree, the purgation is of greater or lesser force and endures for a longer or
shorter time.
4. But if it is to be truly efficacious, it will last for some years, no matter
how intense it may be; although there are intervals in which, through God's
dispensation, this dark contemplation ceases to assail the soul in a purgative
mode and shines upon it illuminatively and lovingly. Then the soul, like one who
has been unshackled and released from a dungeon and who can enjoy the benefit of
spaciousness and freedom, experiences great sweetness of peace and loving
friendship with God in a ready abundance of spiritual communication.
This
illumination is for the soul a sign of the health the purgation is producing
within it and a foretaste of the abundance for which it hopes. Sometimes the
experience is so intense that it seems to the soul that its trials are over. For
when the graces imparted are more purely spiritual they have this trait: When
they are trials, it seems to a soul that it will never be liberated from them
and that no more blessings await it, as was mentioned in the passages previously
cited; when they are spiritual goods, the soul believes its evils have passed
and it will no longer lack blessings, as David confessed on being aware of these
goods: I said in my abundance: I shall never move [Ps. 30:6].
5. The soul experiences this because in the spirit the possession of one
contrary removes of itself the actual possession and feeling of the other
contrary. This does not occur in the sensory part because of the weakness of its
apprehensive power. But since the spirit is not yet completely purged and
cleansed of affections contracted from the lower part, it can, insofar as it is
affected by them, be changed and suffer affliction, although insofar as it is a
spirit it does not change. We note that David changed and experienced many
afflictions and evils, although in the time of his abundance he had thought and
said he would never be moved. Since the soul beholds itself actuated with that
abundance of spiritual goods, and is unable to see the imperfection and impurity
still rooted within, it thinks its trials have ended.
6. But this thought is rare, for until the spiritual purification is completed,
the tranquil communication is seldom so abundant as to conceal the roots that
still remain. The soul does not cease to feel that something is lacking or
remains to be done, and this feeling keeps it from fully enjoying the
alleviation. It feels as though an enemy is within it who, although pacified and
put to sleep, will awaken and cause trouble.
And this is true, for when a person
feels safest and least expects it, the purgation returns to engulf the soul in
another degree more severe, dark, and piteous than the former, lasting for
another period of time, perhaps longer than the first. Such persons believe
thereby that their blessings are gone forever. The enjoyment of blessing that
was theirs after the first trial, in which they thought they no longer had
anything more to suffer, was not sufficient to prevent them from thinking in
this second degree of anguish that now all is over and the blessings formerly
experienced will never return. As I say, this strong conviction is caused by the
actual apprehension of the spirit, which annihilates within itself everything
contrary to this conviction.
7. This is the reason that souls in purgatory suffer great doubts about whether
they will ever leave and whether their afflictions will end. Although they
habitually possess the three theological virtues (faith, hope, and charity), the
actual feeling of both the privation of God and the afflictions does not permit
them to enjoy the actual blessing and comfort of these virtues. Although they
are aware that they love God, this gives them no consolation, because they think
that God does not love them and they are unworthy of his love. Because they see
themselves deprived of him and established in their own miseries, they feel that
they truly bear within themselves every reason for being rejected and abhorred
by God.
Thus, although persons suffering this purgation know that they love God
and that they would give a thousand lives for him (they would indeed, for souls
undergoing these trials love God very earnestly), they find no relief. This
knowledge instead causes them deeper affliction. For in loving God so intensely
that nothing else gives them concern, and aware of their own misery, they are
unable to believe that God loves them. They believe that they neither have nor
ever will have within themselves anything deserving of God's love, but rather
every reason for being abhorred not only by God but by every creature forever.
They grieve to see within themselves reasons for meriting rejection by him whom
they so love and long for.
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